Celebrating Without a Party?

What do you do when someone tells you he/she does not want a birthday/retirement/anniversary party? I know sometimes teenagers can get into a mood and occasionally request you skip the party, as can people who are older but celebrating milestone birthdays/anniversaries or other special occasions.

However, it’s still nice to commemorate the day or occasion in a small way. What suggestions does everyone have for making the birthday guy/gal feel special without an over-the-top party?

I really like the idea of a card shower, with people sending donations to a charity instead of giving gifts. In fact, I kind of wish I could talk my family into the donation bit for Christmas, because we have way too much stuff already!

I’d say if you’re going to do the charitable route, however, it’s probably a good idea to make sure the charity is in line with the guest of honor’s beliefs. Wouldn’t want to offend someone’s religious or political views.

If the person is against a party then why not a special dinner with close family or friends only? Either at home or a fave restaurant. Keep in simple and intimate so the person knows that they are being thought of yet you still respected their request of no party. An evening out can always be a fun way to celebrate! Also if the person has a few favorite things that they like to do why not incorporate that into the day. Take them to the museum, a spa or out to a baseball game. There are endless possibilites. The most important thing to remember is to make the day all about them!

I agree with Cheryl that it is important to make the day special in some way, even if there is not a party planned. Some people don’t want a party because they feel uncomfortable in a party setting or because they don’t want people to take the time or spend the money involved in planning a party. Some are afraid that there will be a surprise party and they fear they might look silly when they are surprised. However, I think it is safe to say that everyone likes to feel special - and to have their special day remembered. The key is to do something special - whether it is giving them a card, taking them out to dinner, dropping off a cake or cupcake with a candle at their home, or taking them out for coffee or another drink.

These are all great ideas!

Dana, I like the idea of charitable donations being tied to a card party.

Cheryl—a small dinner is perfect for someone who wants to avoid being the center of attention. I will mention this next time one of my friends hits a “milestone” and doesn’t want a party.

Susan—I like your idea of dropping off a cake/cupcake. I used to work at a bakery and we would often do “surprise” cake deliveries for people who wanted to recognize someone’s birthday without a big party. I totally forgot about that until you mentioned it!

Thanks for the suggestions, everyone!

It’s really important to respect people’s wishes. Not everyone likes to be the center of attention, and even those who usually enjoy parties would just sometimes prefer not to have a large celebration. The best way to make someone feel special is to really listen to them. If someone tells you “no party”, then honor that. Ask what the person would prefer, and follow through.

Our oldest son just graduated from high school, and definitely declined to have a party of his own. So, in lieu of a big celebration, we put the money into a laptop for him that he can take to college with him in the fall. That, and a nice dinner out were all that we did to mark the occasion. Our son seems satisfied, and he has been quite happy going to all his friend’s graduation parties. He just wasn’t comfortable being the center of attention himself.

Great idea Misty. As others have already mentioned, not everyone likes to be the center of attention at a big celebration. Taking him out to dinner was a super way to honor and celebrate his accomplishment - and giving him the laptop was an excellent way to get him started on his next steps. I think the important thing is to honor the honoree and a big party with a lot of people is not the best way to accomplish that for every honoree.

Just come to Vegas.  We are the party.

LOL… okay I will come to Vegas. But, who is going to pay my way?